Fear

Is it normal to be afraid of yourself?

To fear one's own mind, and the problems it can create for you?

Last week during spring break, I faced a couple of my own dragons.

They are far from slain.

And I feel that they will always be a part of me, hiding in their caverns with the other beasts in the realm of my psyche, but I think I am at peace with that.

As long as those beasts exist, I will keep rising to try to defeat them. They will best me sometimes, they have before. Sometimes for hours, days, weeks, months, and even years. Like I said, they have before. But when they do, I always manage to get back up, not in a blazing glory like a phoenix, but quietly and gingerly like an injured warrior learning to fight again.

I'm not sure whether what I feel is fear, shame, or exhilaration at the presence of these monsters at the edge of the map, maybe a mixture of the three, but I know that I accept them and the battles with them are a very real part of me.